


smoke in your lungs

by evakstoiletpaper



Category: SKAM (TV), SKAM (TV) RPF
Genre: Anorexic, Bipolar Disorder, Boy Squad, Bulimia, Depression, Girl Squad - Freeform, M/M, Mental Illness, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, SKAM, Suicidal Thoughts, don't worry tho. everything going to be alright, isaks depressed and suicidal, kollektiv
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-26
Updated: 2017-07-29
Packaged: 2018-12-07 08:38:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11619936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evakstoiletpaper/pseuds/evakstoiletpaper
Summary: Even smokes cigarettes, Isak strictly doesn't"You know those will kill you right""No shit Sherlock, why do you think I do it"





	1. PACKS

**Author's Note:**

> this isn't going to be a sappy story so don't leave

As he walked to the store angrily to buy more noodles for Nooras stupid American spaghetti he saw someone walk in. They were tall, somewhat long hair, with his hair down, was wearing a hoodie with layers, ** _shit_**.

_'Is that him?_ ' was his first thought

' _No that can't be him, he moved away months ago_.' he reassured himself

' _Stupid, of course thats him, of course he came back, but why? We don't need him here_.'

As Isak walked into the store he tried to heavily ignore the tall figure. He had one job and one job only: go to the store, walk in, get the noodles, walk to the register, pay, walk out, go home. Okay maybe that was more than one but whatever. He didn't expect to see him of all people and he sure as hell isn't going to stop him from doing those steps.

As he was walking to the register he saw him asking for cigarettes, immediately Isak scrunched up his button nose. **_Gross_**.  
He saw him leave with his cigarettes and walk out and at that Isak let out a breath he was probably holding since he first saw him. Isak was staring off in the distance when suddenly he hears,

"Well are you gonna pay or not kid? I don't have all damn freaking day!"  
"Yea , yea, yea I'm coming. Shut your tramp hole." Isak said grumpily.

He was still grumpy at the fact Noora asked him to take time out of his night to get up and buy noodles that she should’ve bought when the idea came to make spaghetti. Like seriously if you knew you were going to make it why didn't you think ' _Oh, well I guess not, I don't have noodles._ '

As he was walking out he stopped in his tracks. _'God what the hell do you want'_

"Hello there." _shut the fuck up stupid idiot_

"Why are you here, why did you come back?"

"Theres no law prohibiting me from coming back here." the tall guy said matter of factly

"Yea well nobody wants you here so get your little cancer sticks and get out of here" Isak seriously didn't have tie for this, he was grumpy and tired

"Well it looks like you're going to be seeing a lot of me within the next 50 years, because I'm not leaving."

Isak huffed and started making his way back to the Kollektiv. He pulled out his phone and wrote a quick message,

" **You guys are never going to believe who I just ran into. Hint, Hint he's back.** "


	2. FIRST PACK

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You get to know whats wrong with Isak. Just a little bit. Isak meets someone new.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings? kind of.

**_Ugh_**. Isak thought. Why did the world hate him. First, Noora wanted him to buy noodles, and look who he ran into. If somebody even thinks about stopping him this time as he gets Eskild some jelly (which he knows is just going to rot) he's going to blow.

As Isak walks in theres this guy at the register asking for a pack of Marlboro. Again Isak scrunches up his little button nose. _Disgusting_.

Isak goes to stand in line behind a guy, he can only see his back, but he's tall, hair thats actually styled neatly. He too asks for a pack of cigarettes, Isak knew he was a smoker just by standing behind him.

The guy payed and walked out and luckily the man from the day before wasn't here to yap his old hag mouth. Isak paid and looked up to where the sign for cigarettes read:

**_“CIGARETTES 103kr MUST BE 18 YRS. OR OLDER TO PURCHASE_ _”_ **

‘ _what!_ ” Isak was shocked to say the least, he couldn't believe people actually spent money on worthless piece of rat shit.

As Isak was walking out he noticed the guy standing there outside. ‘ _Great, just great. He probably wants to talk to me._ ’

“Can I help you?” ‘ _Wait wha-_ ‘ “Do I have something on my face?”

 _‘Fuck, was I looking at him. Shit shit shit shit. Play it cool, you're Isak Valtersen._ ’

Isak smirked “Yea rotting skin, from those disgusting things you people call cigarettes.”

The taller guy smirked, and took off his sun glasses, putting them on his neatly styled hair.

“Oh really? Then i’ll have you know you got something on your face as well.”

Internally Isak was freaking out because if the boy in front of him was right he was going to have a breakdown because if something was on his face then its been there ever since he left Jonas’ house.

Isak wasn't one to look at mirrors, he tried to avoid them at all costs. The thing about Jonas’ house was that he had one right where the front door was so you would see yourself no matter what. Isak hated that.

Isak was sure at this point he looked like a deer in headlights.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**PART ONE OF ISAKS STORY**

_Isak was self conscious of himself. Like mentioned, he avoided mirrors, why? Well because, Isak wasn't too fond of himself, always thought something was wrong with the way he looked._

_The Kollektiv knew that, they knew Isak wasn't well, and they tried very hard to sometimes cheer him up and have him be active. That meant making him go out to the store for useless items they either don't need or purposely didn't buy. He knew what they were doing, and so what if he wasn't fond of the idea, he knew they were just trying to help. Did he want their help,_ nope _. Did it matter what he wanted,_ nope _. All he wanted to do at times was crawl into bed and sleep. But did the world like him,_ pft of course not _._

_Isak doesn't know where his self consciousness came from. It was more of as he got older the more his body started changing and so did his mind. Isak used to never care of what he looked like, he was able to look at himself in the mirror and shrug an ok. But as high school started he realized one day something wasn't right. He started to break out on his face and Isak started freaking out because how did this happen, more like how could this happen. Of all days, that day Isak and Jonas wanted to be able to get girls but now with Isak’s acne they were going to scare the girls away. The only thing was that Isak didn't realize was his skin was never clear, he always had the occasional one or two pimples._

_Jonas noticed Isak was freaking out but he didn't know why, and when Isak told him was when Jonas broke the news saying;_

_“Dude, you've always had pimples on your face. Its okay man its puberty, we all go through it. You're not always going to have perfect skin 365 days out of the year.”_

_That really hit Isak._

_As time went on though nothing really changed, his acne cleared up and he would occasionally get a couple here and there but still he felt he didn't look right. It didn't hit Isak all at once, it hit him overtime. First it was the acne, then it was the hair, then it was him thinking he looked fat (when in reality he was possibly the skinniest one out of everybody), its never ending for Isak._

_He tried everything, changed the way he ate, tried to work out, at one point in time he became bulimic and then was anorexic. In that year everything just went down hill. His father left him and his mother, his mother wasn't getting better, and Isak found out he was severely depressed. Thats for another time now because-_  
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“Are you okay”

Isak immediately pulled out his phone to check his face and to his relief there was nothing there. Isak was **mad**.

“ **Fuck you!** ” Isak spat at the guy

The guy just stood there laughing at Isak like seeing Isak almost have a mental breakdown was some comedy shit.

“I hope you choke on your own breath and wheeze like the penguin from Toy Story.”

 _'What the hell did he just say?'_ The guy stopped laughing and looked at Isak as if Isak told him his hair wasn't blonde.

“Hah, um what?” Thats when Isak started to panic, crap why did he say that.

He blames Eskild for this, if Eskild hadn't insisted them watch an animated movie on Friday for movie night he wouldn't have said it.

“Whatever I need to go home, my friends hungry and needs his jelly for his sandwich.” As Isak started walking the guy decided to speak,

“Why don't we make our own sandwich i'll be the peanut butter, you be the jelly.”

Holy. Fuck.

“What the hell?!” Were the only words Isak could say

“What? I'm smooth and I can make your body feel like jelly.” Who the hell _was_ this guy.

Isak’s mouth went dry “oh, um…”

The guy laughed again this time with a cigarette in his mouth, about to light it

“Dude i’m just playing.” Isak’s face went red with embarrassment.

What the hells wrong with him, he's never thought this way before, not with anyone, not even Jonas. Isak cringes just thinking about it.

Still freaking out Isak says the first thing that comes out of his mouth and quickly leaves before something bad happens.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who the hell is this guy? Who the hell is the guy from before? 
> 
> Tweet me who you think it is @evakisgorgeous

**Author's Note:**

> LETS SEE WHERE THIS TAKES US 
> 
>  
> 
> ***The story you don't want


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